I AM DR. BETSY GUERRA.
I’m a licensed psychotherapist, a speaker, and the author of Hurt 2 Hope: Heal the pain of loss, grief, and adversity. I am also a devoted wife, a mother of four, and a woman of faith.
And most importantly… I am the CHOSEN MOTHER OF AN ANGEL.
After losing my beloved daughter unexpectedly, I was able to find peace, gratitude and joy. Now I help others do the same!
On a beautiful sunny spring afternoon, twenty years ago, two young friends graduated from the same college with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology. They were very much alike, these two young friends.
Both had been honor students, both were outgoing and as young vibrant college graduates, both were filled with ambitious dreams for the future.
Recently, these two friends reunited at their alma mater for their 20th reunion.
They were still very much alike. Both started a private practice. Both still very much loved their work. Both were healthy. Both financially comfortable. Both happily married with 4 children.
And both, unfortunately, had gone through the excruciating pain of losing a child
But there was ONE difference.
One identifies as a grieving mother who tragically lost a child.
This friend was endlessly suffering, overtaken by grief, depression and panic attacks. She was on the brink of divorce because she resented her husband for wanting her to find joy again in life. At risk of becoming a functioning alcoholic, neglecting her surviving children, miserable at work. She felt stuck living day by day with no joy…no inner peace…no love…no hope.
The other friend identifies as…“The Chosen Mother of An Angel.”
Her marriage was thriving and her children were full of joy and resilience. She was a beacon of hope to her community, which led her to having a flourishing practice and delightful life.
I’m the CHOSEN MOTHER OF AN ANGEL.
That’s right, I’m the friend in the story…
I’m the happiest woman on EARTH!
I’m going to share with you how I used the excruciating pain of losing my beloved baby girl to transform my pain and become the happiest woman on earth.
I know it sounds absolutely crazy and totally unbelievable to be able to say something like that after such a tragedy but I’ll show you how it’s possible.
Right after my daughter’s passing, we had a house full of people and I remember feeling so overwhelmed that my husband and I, literally hid out in our walk-in closet to get away from everyone.
We felt destroyed. While we were on the floor crying and feeling like we would never be happy again, our family priest came in to talk to us.
My husband asked him… “You’ve seen this before. Is it possible to ever be happy again?”
“Some people are happy again while others never overcome this,” he responded in that gentle, reassuring way that made him special.
“What makes the difference?” my husband asked.
What the priest said next is probably the single most
important piece of advice I have ever received
when it comes to dealing with loss…
So pay close attention…
In fact, get a pen and paper to write this next part down. It’s that important.
“Those who are never happy again think that the more they love, the more they must suffer. They honor their loved one through suffering, so they can never allow themselves to be happy again.”
“The people who find joy again, they know that love is not measured through tears. They honor their loved one through love, service, and gratitude.”
I knew right then and there…in that very moment that I was going to be happy again because I CHOSE to honor my beloved daughter Fofi through love, gratitude, and service.
There seems to be this unwritten rule that says that the amount of suffering you go through is directly related to how much you loved someone. That is to say, those who suffer the most, loved the most.
AGAIN TOTAL LIE! That belief could not be further from the truth.
And this is why so many people choose to continue to suffer and feel pain over the loss of a loved one for years, even decades later.
I knew I didn’t want to be one of those people…
I’m sure you also don’t want to be one of those people or you wouldn’t be reading this.
I had no idea how I was going to get the strength and grace to honor Fofi differently, and I really couldn’t imagine ever feeling happy again, but I made the choice anyway.
Has helped me become the happiest woman on earth.
You didn’t choose this pain (no matter how it happened), but you have a choice when it comes to how to move your life forward.
Especially when there’s a better way to overcome grief and transform your pain into purpose. You can go from Hurt to Hope, and find peace again.